It’s fun to be right. Being right as often as I am, I am, of course, well aware of this.

But even more fun than being right is being right when others aren’t even aware of just how right you are. They should, of course, know just how right you are. They would be much better off.

Actually, no, that’s not fun so much as frustrating. Very frustrating, actually. If only they would listen to you! If only they would hear you out! If only follow your good advice! No, not very much fun at all.

What is fun is when they think you’re wrong and just wish you’d shut the fuck up. Please, please, go away, they say. Now that’s when it starts to get fun.

What’s so fun about that? You see, being the remnant is always fun. It’s a real blast to be an imaginary persecuted minority keeping the one true faith alive. Righteous indignation!

They’re out to get you, you know. Sure, they won’t come out and say it. But they let it slip now and again, if you’ll just read between the lines.

See, when that guest preacher told that story about some church folk who started a little program to buy coats for the day laborers in their community, he wasn’t saying it’s good to help people. No. If you paid attention, you’d have noticed he said the day laborers were “legal immigrants.” That means he hates illegal immigrants. You see? You have to read between the lines. You always knew he was bad.

And when folks in your congregation say, no, they don’t agree with you that the worship services are getting too Christian/Buddhist/Humanist/whatever, it’s not because they think that. No. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that what they really mean to say is that they think it’s not Christian/Buddhist/Humanist/whatever enough and that they hope no one will notice until it’s too late.

You know these things because you’re right. In fact, you’re so right, you’re right about being right. They know this, of course. But they can’t bring themselves to admit it, not even to themselves. It’s a pity, to be such weak souls. You have to wonder how they can stand it.

It’s fun to be the persecuted bearers of the one true faith. Just ask the fundamentalists playing Chicken Little about some out-of-date poll data that says they’ll only be 4% of US teenagers will be “bible believing Christians.” Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

We have to get with it! There are so few of who get it! If only people would listen! If only! If only! If only!

Being the remant puts you in good company. Just look at the Yahwist prophets of the Hebrew Bible. Now they knew how to do remnant. Especially that Elijah. Wow. No one would believe that guy when he’d tell them how right he was. Good thing Yahweh himself showed up and blasted that sacrifice in front of the prophets of Baal. Then they knew Elijah was right. And if that didn’t show them, killing all 400 of them certainly did. Rightous indignation!

Someday the doubters will get their comeuppance. Then they’ll see. Then they’ll get theirs. And, boy, that day can’t come soon enough, can it?

If only. If only. If only.