You have too many damn cottonwood trees, or whatever the hell you call those things here. Not every yard needs three of them. In fact, none of them do. God made other trees. You should have planted more of those. They’re also nice to look at.
You see, the problem is that their pollen goes straight into my bronchials, where it turns into spackle. Which is why I’ve been hacking like my great Uncle Jack, the one with emphesema. I’m too young for that. I’m not even as old as dead Jesus or Dennis from The Holy Grail. I don’t even smoke. Which is to say, dear Atlanta, that your damn trees make spring unpleasant, which is unfortunate as I tend to prefer pleasant things. Like spring without bronchitis.
There is, however, an easy solution. Three quarters of these damn trees are planted directly underneath powerlines, which would explain why my electricity flashes off once or twice every day. I propose that you let me cut down every last one of the damn things that lives under a powerline. In exchange for my cutting them down, you will not arrest me or sue me. And you’ll still have at least three of the damn things for every single resident of the thirty-eight country metro area.
Deal?
[mumbles something about respect for the interdependent web of exsitence]
:-D
Me with my no allergies shall sit back and mock you. Nyananana!
I suffer right along with you friend… we are cutting down some trees thursday, though they are only dead oaks.
And to Kinsi… watch how you mock, young son. I know many that never had allergies, and now, are cesspools of mucous and other fun sickness due to… that’s right… allergies!!! Karma is a bitch!
Isn’t this what the pharmacuetical industry is for? Ever tried Flonase?
You could move to Pheonix, but so many people moved there and planted trees so its no longer a safe haven for allergic people.
PS without trees Atlanta become Houston. Yuck.
you’re right on with that, louis. houston is icky.
in addition to the cottonwoods, i have to protest those pear trees or whatever they are that smell like fish/manure. some brilliant soul planted a whole stand of them outside my former workplace. NASTY.
though that green polleny stuff is gross too. luckily, my daily dose of loratadine keeps me sane.
Flonase definitely helps, far better than anything else I’ve tried. But it just gets it down to manageable.
Dear Oklahoma,
I didn’t have bad allergies in Boston. You suck. Just kidding, I love ya. I just gotta get some Flonase.
– CP
Last night my wife was talking with some friends about Atlanta’s power always flashing off. Said one, “When I was in India the power would go out, but that’s because I was in India.”
Yes, Chutney.
And here in Attalanta, the power just goes off because of a light rain shower. Which is the same reason traffic clogs up all of a sudden on Ponce at two in the afternoon. Which is the same reason we get canals for streets and nonfunctioning stoplights. Sigh. I’m gonna miss this place.