Last week I went to a big church meeting, basically an exit interview for our recently retired minister after the fact.  During the meeting, one person asked how the congregational system we’ve created together fosters the overcommitment and burnout that several folks had mentioned.  He asked why we allow people to take on five or six committees.

I responded that I wondered how our previous minister’s distaste for administration might have led to there being so many committees in the first place, perhaps new ones being created to make up for an administrative void.  I wondered how many of those could dissolve of the coming months, as we transition into new congregational leadership.

Afterwards, he and I talked about how our own upbringings gave us unique views of the congregation—how he sees how "white" the congregation is and how I see how "white collar" it is.  When these sorts of things go unobserved and unacknowledged, they tend to become ghosts that haunt a church, scaring people away who don’t already fit the mold.

Clyde Grubbs’ blog "A People So Bold!" has a great post on how ministeral formation needs to prep folks for the interpersonal difficulties:

Churches are places where people come who need help, and some of these needy people present “mental health” problems. In many of our churches as many of a quarter of the membership is clinically depressed, and a significant number will tell you that they are “borderline.” Narcissism is our most common character disorder and it can present as a “right to express myself” with demands and tantrums. Narcissism denied takes the form of long term antagonism. Other clergy will point out that I haven’t even mentioned passive aggressive styles among board members, and burnout among volunteers.

I’ll add to that.  We need to do a better job training ministers in congregational systems.   If it’s all preaching and RE and pastoral care, you’re not really leading.