Here are ten ways to build a killer group for twenty- and thirtysomethings.
1. Shake hands with folks. Introduce yourself. Ask about their weeks. Ask about their lives.
2. Do one thing regularly. An RE class, sermon discussion, or lunch. Once a week or once a month. Preferably Sunday morning, when people are already coming. Folks need to be able to get to know each other. That’s probably their #1 reason for coming.
3. Then do two things regularly. Once you have a few folks, you can start doing something else. And a new time will draw new people. The crowds at each will overlap but won’t be identical.
4. No bylaws. No regulations. No procedures. No committees and no chairs. Do you really need a meeting to decide where to go to lunch next February? And if the congregation says you have to have a committee, tell them to eat it. What are they going to do, send you to the Baptist church? We’re all adults here. No one needs to be voluntold.
5. No budget. Don’t ask the board for money. Do things that don’t require board money.
6. Watch the gossip. If the group has a bunch of single folks, there will be dating within the group. Groovy. Let’s let folks work things out themselves. If someone wants the group to take sides in a break up, then they need to find somewhere else to hang out.
7. Wherever two or three are gathered, let them lead. Does someone have a good idea? Does another person or two like the idea? Good. They’re in charge. Follow.
8. Let things die. What if no one wants to do the Sunday morning RE class anymore? That’s fine. What if nobody wants to run the Thursday night pub and grub anymore? No worries. As the group evolves, so will the things you do. Just keep doing at least one thing regularly, even if it turns out to be a different something.
9. There is no “group.” Membership rosters are for boy scouts troops. Whoever comes is in. Expect an annual turnover rate of at least 25%. This doesn’t mean some people are bad, or that they can’t hack it. It means they’re in their twenties and thirties, like you.
10. Don’t follow anyone else’s plan. Not UUYAN’s, not mine. Your congregation is different, and the people in your group are different. Do what works.
A-fucking-men, Chutnage.
But it does take a strong framework up front and an established presence. My mind flashes to the problems I had as a young adult at the Birmingham church. There are probably lots of UUs in say, Mississippi or Arkansas, who don’t have the sort of community network they so badly crave.
My hope is that what we’re doing at UUCA will serve as a sort of example by which other churches can learn from and compliment.
A think a huge step for our group was when we went from having the one chalice circle/covenant group/small group/coven/whateverthenamewasthatweek to having two – a covenant group and an affinity group. I think the ability to sustain two groups like that is something noteworthy.
I would add wtih number 11, offshoot of number 11 – be prepared to change your ideas. People will come with their own ideas, and the group will eventually take on a life of its own – it will wonder from whatever the creater had orginally wanted, and thats a good thing.
Can we generalize this? Maybe these are good ways to grow a church or church groups in general?
I mean, for a church, you do need *some* bylaws, but I do wonder if we couldn’t simplify a bit, streamline a bit, and control things a little less…
Louis,
Sure, for a congregation-as-a-whole, there need to be some bylaws. No argument there.
But, yeah, I think we could probably generalize this. I think this would work for all sorts of groups.
Kinsi,
The group has far exceeded my expectations, to be sure. Though, now, I won’t be surprised if there’s a third covenant group by the time summer comes around.
Wow, great post!!
I really like the organic nature to the process. Not as in, Organic capital O- but just… in motion, fluid, changeable.
voluntold :P That’s my new favorite word.