The Happy Tutor asks, “In the name of what does one speak against the golden calf?”

From the burning bush, Moses’s god sent him to lead a liberation armed with a name: Yhwh. One translation of Yhwh is “I am who I am,” which translated yet again turns out to mean, “Shut up. My name is none of your damn business.”

Anyone doing something “in the name of…” is being either ironic, naive, or deceitful. The first two can cut close to idolatry; the last gets there and then some. No wonder Yhwh didn’t want his name to be taken in vain.

The ancient Cynic known as Jesus, in a sobering follow-up, said that the sin against the Holy Spirit is the only unforgivable sin. It would seem, then, that breaking the tablets and overturning the tables (whip in hand, of course) is the only proper response to golden calves. And perhaps hoping that those who have ears will hear.

And we should not be shocked when the trickster Yhwh forbids us to enter the promised land just as it’s come into sight.