Slate.com is running Virginia Heffernan’s take on “the moral vision of SpongeBob.” Here’s a sample:

For sure, the show is for an audience that prefers adventure to self-improvement, fun to goodness. That sounds like kids. That sounds like a lot of us.

I’m confused. First, we’ve got the SAT analogy going on—adventure:self-improvement::fun:goodness. The implication, of course, is that the former are inimical to the latter. Obviously, Virginia Heffernan is none other than Squidward himself.

And SpongeBob, who never stops being happy, fumbles toward his own ad-hoc solutions. Bikini Bottom is no Gotham City, but it is a world of low-end cheating, slipshod work, obliviousness, firecrackers—and cheap Huck-Finn-style rascality.

[snark] Oh no! Not (gasp) Huck Finn! It’s not deep if it’s not dark, depressing Gotham City! And, really, how are all those small Asian children supposed to adjust to life in the sweatshop if everyone’s favorite cartoon show endorses “low-end cheating, slipshod work, obliviousness, and firecrackers.” Next thing you know we’ll all be paying retail! Industry, ernestness, and thrift! [/snark]

SpongeBob is the young Trickster, still unaware of his knack for luck but lucky nonetheless. He is delightfully un-self-aware and succeeds anyway. Take that, therapy brown shirts! He’s Jung’s archetypal Golden Child, on the cusp of entering into an adult world where he’ll have to learn to make his own luck.

Plus, his snail meows. That’s just cool. And the pirate song at the beginning tempts you with glee. (You know you’ve shouted out the refrain.) I, for one, rather enjoy being tempted with glee.

In the way of Mark Twain, SpongeBob SquarePants disdains sanctimony and hypocrisy far more than bad behavior.

Because hypocrisy and sanctimony are worse than bad behavior. They cause far more harm. And since they manage to get you to look the other way right before they cause that harm, they rarely take heat for it. Who’s worse? An obnoxious drunk or Kenneth Lay?

Hefferman’s article plays out the overcooked pop culture genre of “popular children’s character may not be an exemplary role model after all.” Drawing on her Mark Twain comparisons, did anyone ever take Tom Sawyer to be a role model? SpongeBob is presented by his producers as flawed. He screws up, suffers consequences, and learns from his mistakes. No, not every episode, but do you learn from your mistakes every episode? Why does a cartoon character have to be the Second Coming of the SpongeChrist?

The Squidwards of the world will continually find themselves flustered at SpongeBob’s interruptions of their bubble baths and clarinet playing. Even though it’s foolish for them to expect anything different. Like their namesake, they need to learn that the harder they try to avoid SpongeBob, the surer he is to be around the next corner.