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Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more

01.29.03 | 5 Comments

Bush delivered a consistently mediocre State of the Union address this year. Even conservative George Will couldn’t hide his contempt on ABC’s post-game show. (I’ll send him a dollar if he’ll say so in a column.)

My favorite Bush line of all was this:

To date we have arrested, or otherwise dealt with, many key commanders of al-Qaida. They include a man who directed logistics and funding for the September 11th attacks … the chief of al-Qaida operations in the Persian Gulf who planned the bombings of our embassies in East Africa and the USS Cole … an al-Qaida operations chief from Southeast Asia … a former director of al-Qaida’s training camps in Afghanistan … a key al-Qaida operative in Europe … and a major al-Qaida leader in Yemen. All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. And many others have met a different fate. They are no longer a problem for the United States and our friends and allies.

Let me just turn on the translation matrix here for a little bit:

We’ve been whacking people right and left this year. Oh, I know, it’s still illegal for the US government to assasinate someone, but that “enemy combatant” thing’s worked out pretty nice so far, wouldn’t you say? Besides, this way I sound more macho—”assasinate” has so many esses in it you can’t help but sound like a sissy boy. (And anyway, if I don’t come out and say it, the damn liberals can’t bitch about how it’s illegal and how they’re just “suspected” terrorists. If they didn’t do it, how come Rummy thinks they’re guilty, huh?)

God bless America: land of the free, home of the brave.

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